Long Road Ch18
Feb. 14th, 2012 06:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lothinielflowermaidenWarnings: All warnings from previous chapters may still apply. This chapter also contains some discussion of what will happen if Norway's condition doesn't improve.
Chapter Eighteen
Norway had tried to force himself to stay awake all night, to avoid the risk of any nightmares, but he had eventually fallen asleep sometime in the early morning hours. The events of the evening had left him too exhausted to be able to stay up any longer that that. Luckily, though, his sleep remained free of dreams, and when he woke up he was a little less uneasy than he had been the night before—he no longer felt the need to check every shadow in the room out of fear that Scandia might appear at any moment. In daylight, and after a couple of hours sleep, the threat that his father posed did not seem quite as close. At the same time, though, he could not allow himself to fully relax and feel safe.
He had fallen asleep so late that it was midmorning by the time he woke up. It was late enough that he knew there was a good chance that he had slept through breakfast, and he was actually relieved about that. It would be one less meal to have to pretend to eat, although he wasn't sure if he should even bother with that. For the last several days, he had been trying so hard to convince his family that he was getting better, but he knew last night had made them see the truth.
For a moment Norway allowed himself to think that maybe it would have been better if he had never been found back in the winter. He could have just stayed hidden in the cabin until—He pushed that thought away before he could complete it. But this was not the first time he had thought something like that, and it probably would not be the last.
Not wanting to risk having that thought return, Norway forced himself to get out of bed. Although he was careful not to get up too fast, a wave of lightheadedness swept over him as soon as he stood up, and he had to support himself on the edge of the bed to avoid falling. As soon as it had passed, he managed to walk out into the hallway. And then he hesitated, not sure what to do next.
He was still wearing the same clothes he had worn the day before, and they were wrinkled from having been slept in. And everything that he brought with him when he had come to stay there was downstairs, and he didn't want to be seen like this—especially not after the condition his family had seen him in the night before. He wanted to at least be able to look like everything was normal, and that meant not wearing clothes that had obviously been slept in. At first, he couldn't see a way around the problem of everything being downstairs, but then he remembered that his usual room was just down the hall, and he knew there would probably be a couple changes of clothes in there. And once he had managed to get upstairs, he should be able to face that room.
Even once he thought he had made the decision to go to his usual room and see if he could find a change of clothes before going back downstairs, he still did not move from the spot outside the door of the room where he had spent the night. After a couple of minutes had passed, he forced himself to walk down the hall to the door, but then he could go no further. He just could not bring himself to enter that room, and he hated being that weak. It was just a room after all—despite what had happened there. As much as he tried to convince himself of that fact, he still could not bring himself to enter the room, and his breathing was starting to speed up again and he was starting to feel increasingly lightheaded.
The longer Norway stood there, in the hallway outside his usual room, the stronger the urge to run away became. At any moment, he expected to feel a hand close tightly on his shoulder or arm, and drag him into the room, not even giving him a chance to protest. And, the more time past, the stronger that feeling grew, and with it, the increasing sense of panic. Eventually, despite the lightheadedness he was feeling, he just had to get away, and turning away from the door, he walked back down the hallway towards the stairs. The urge to get away was so strong, that he did not even think about whether he should walk downstairs in his current state—about whether or not it would be safe. The only thing he thought of was that he needed to get away from there before something happened.
The rest of the family was aware of how late Norway had stayed awake the night before. Once they had all learned about the dreams he was having, and the danger those dreams might pose to him, they had taken turns looking in on him, while also trying to avoid disturbing him. They had been relieved when he had fallen asleep at last, and they had been especially relieved that his sleep had so far been free of nightmares. Even throughout the morning, they had taken turns looking in on him every so often, although they expected him to sleep until late morning at least, based on how late he had fallen asleep and how exhausted the previous night's attack would have left him—especially in his current condition. Just in case, though, they tried to make sure that at least one of them was close enough to staircase to hear any sounds from upstairs and be able to know if he was having a nightmare.
It had been a little while since any of them had checked on Norway, and there was a still a little time left before they needed to check on him again. And, other than listening for any sign that he might be having a nightmare, they weren't that concerned at the moment. That changed as soon as they heard a crash from the direction of the stairs.
As soon as they heard that they immediately rushed in the direction the sound had come from, to find Norway lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.
"Nor!" Denmark was the first to cross the remaining distance to the stairs and reached Norway's side.
The others followed a short time later. They had no idea how badly Norway was hurt, or exactly what had happened. Well, they knew that he must have fallen down the stairs, but they weren't sure of much more than that. As far as all of them had believed, he was still sleeping, but apparently he had woken up and tried to come downstairs. However, they weren't sure what might have caused him to fall, and they were worried about possible serious injuries.
Norway seemed to have been stunned by the fall, and there was a cut on his forehead that was bleeding heavily. They could not see any other injuries, but that did not mean that he did not have any. They knew enough to know not to move him before determining the full extent of his injuries, but they didn't like having to just leave him lying on the floor like that. If he was seriously injured, they needed to take him to someplace where he could receive treatment—which from their current location was easier said than done.
Their worry was lessened a few moments later when Norway opened his eyes, and then increased again by the tightness to his expression. They could see that he was in pain, but they still weren't sure where he was injured other than the cut on his head. And they were worried that he didn't even seem to be trying to conceal the fact that he was pain.
Norway slowly sat up, and raised a hand to touch the cut on his forehead, wincing as he did so. Then, he started to stand up, but collapsed back to the floor as soon as he put weight on his right leg. He was unable to suppress an exclamation of pain.
"Nor!" Denmark was still right by Norway's side, and reached out to try to help him.
"Don't touch me!" Norway exclaimed. After a few moments, he added, "I'm alright. I just got up too fast." He took a deep breath, and once again attempted to stand. This time he was able to stay standing, but he was clearly favoring his leg.
Any suspicions that others might have had that he wasn't really alright were quickly confirmed when he tried to walk. He was take a couple of steps, although he noticeably limping. Then, when he apparently put too much weight on his injured leg, he started to fall again.
He would have fallen to floor again, if Denmark hadn't still been close enough to him to stop his fall. Not wanting to take any chance that Norway might do something to hurt himself more, Denmark picked the smaller man up and carried him into the living room. To the surprise of the rest of the family, Norway did not protest at all—which added to everyone's worry about how badly he might be hurt.
There had been no question that Norway needed to be examined by a doctor, especially considering that he had been unconscious when the rest of the family had first found him. However, they had decided to take a chance that Norway's injuries were not to too serious and take him to the same doctor he had been seeing before, even though it would take a little while longer to get there. The shortcut made it so that it would only take a few extra minutes. And it just seemed best to go to a doctor that had some idea what was going on with Norway—especially given the fact that this doctor had proven that he actually cared about Norway.
Unlike the previous times, this time the whole family did not go, as someone needed to stay home with Sealand. Sweden ended up being the one to stay at the house as Denmark and Iceland had both insisted on going so they could make sure that Norway was alright and Finland was the one who was most involved in taking care of Norway.
Once they had actually gotten there, they didn't have to wait long before Norway was seen. Even though he seemed to be doing a little better by that time—the cut on his forehead had stopped bleeding at least—they had taken him somewhere that his true identity was known, and that meant that he got some special consideration. Of course, the rest of the family was still left to wait for news about Norway's condition—a scenario that was becoming increasingly familiar to them. It seemed like they had waited for a long time before the doctor came out to talk to them, although their worry may have made the wait seem longer.
"Let's go someplace private to talk," the doctor said, before leading them to the same room where all their previous discussions had taken place. Once they were all seated around the table in this room, he filled them in on Norway's condition. "Luckily, Haldor was not seriously injured. The worst of his injuries is a sprained ankle. Other than that, he just has a lot of bruising, and he will probably be sore for at least a few days. The cut on his head is not too serious, and he doesn't have any signs of concussion other than the initial loss of consciousness. I'm more concerned about how he was injured."
None of them were quite sure what to tell the doctor. Telling the truth would sound like they were trying to make up an excuse, as falling down stairs was sometimes used as a cover-up of abuse. And they didn't want to be suspected of that again, out of a fear of a repeat of what had happened when Birger had suspected them of hurting Norway. In the end though, they really had no choice except to tell the truth—that Norway had fallen down the stairs, but that they didn't know any more than that about how he had gotten hurt.
The doctor did not seem the doubt the truth of what they had said. "I realize how concerned all of you have been about Haldor since January," he said. "So, I doubt that you would do anything to hurt him. What I was wondering about was what caused him to fall. I'm afraid it may be related to the weight he has lost—that he may be starting to have negative physical consequences from that again. I noticed that he has lost a little more. Is he still refusing to eat?"
"Yes. If anything, he's been getting better at hiding the fact that he's not eating. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he just insists that he knows what he's doing and that he has it under control. I'm afraid that by this point, he may have actually developed an eating disorder—if he didn't have one to start with." As usually, Finland was the one who answered the doctor's questions.
"I've been afraid that it might come to that point, but I'd hoped that being with his family might help him more. Have you seen any physical symptoms from him that could be related to the weight loss?"
"None that we can be sure are from that. I know he had at least one spell of lightheadedness, but that may have been from lack of sleep. And I don't know if he's had any others, although it's possible that could have been what caused him to fall. We were actually all relieved that he didn't fall while going up the stairs last night. Maybe that should have made us keep a closer eye on him this morning, but we all thought he was still asleep."
"I am not blaming any of you for what happened to Haldor," the doctor was quick to reassure them all on that point. "Something is going on with him, I think, but I have no idea what it is. He has been questioned about it several times, but all anyone has learned is that it is something from his past. I am going to assume that all of you know what is going on with him, at least. That is part of the reason I thought he might be better off with his family." He paused for a few moments before adding, "I spoke to someone from the government after Haldor was brought in, and they are going to allow him to stay with you. No one wants a repeat of what happened with Birger, and we still feel that until whatever is going on with Haldor is resolved that he is better off with his family. But there is concern about the fact that he was injured again. Is there any chance that Haldor is some kind of danger, besides from the things he is doing to himself?"
And that was another difficult question to answer. For one thing, they could not answer it without giving information that Norway apparently did not want anyone else to know. And they also had no proof that he really was still in any danger. There were certainly clues that pointed in that direction—the fact that he had been injured in an empty (and locked) room and had claimed not to have done it to himself, the nightmares he had been having, especially if what he believed about them was true, and the fact that no one in the family knew where Scandia had gone. For all the rest of the family knew, Scandia really could be someplace where he could still be a threat to Norway, but they still believed that it was unlikely that Scandia would go after Norway directly.
After several moments had passed in silence, that doctor seemed to realize that they couldn't answer that question. "I want Haldor to stay here for a little while still, but I don't think there's any need to keep him overnight this time. Someone from the government will be coming by in a little while to check on him, and after that you can take him home. He will need to stay off of his ankle as much as possible for a few days to rest it, but the sprain is not very serious. However, I think it might be a good idea if you kept him away from the stairs this time—or at least did not allow him on them alone. I think, given the fact that he does not have an injury that could have caused the loss of consciousness, that the loss of consciousness may have been what made him fall."
They were allowed to see Norway once they had finished speaking with the doctor, and they were finally able to see for themselves that he was going to be okay. His ankle had been bandaged and was propped up on an extra pillow to keep it elevated. The cut on his forehead had also been bandaged, just as precaution. A few bruises could be seen, and they knew that there were probably more bruises hidden by his clothes.
As relieved as they were to know that he would be alright, they all regretted not having kept a closer eye on him that morning. They knew it was possible that something had frightened him upstairs and he had fallen while trying to get away. It had been obvious the night before that he was uncomfortable upstairs, and they had left him alone somewhere they knew he was uncomfortable. And they hadn't even been keeping a close enough eye on him to know that he hadn't still been sleeping like they had thought he was.
Norway seemed a little more alert than he had been the other times he had been in the hospital. He had been fully aware when they had entered the room, with no signs of the disorientation that he had shown at other times. But, still, it seemed like something wasn't quite right. "You don't have to stay," he said, shortly after they had entered the room. "Someone from the government will be here soon."
"We've already been told that your government won't send us away again, although they will probably be upset to see that you're not recovering. And we will need to talk about what happened last night and this morning."
"I don't want to talk about it," Norway said. And it was obvious that he meant it—he had no intention of talking about recent events.
By this point, though, the situation was getting too serious not to talk about it. "We are going to have to talk about this, Norja," Finland said. "None of us want to take any chances with your safety and you could have been seriously hurt this morning." What was left unsaid was the fact that Norway could have been killed that morning if he had landed wrong or hit his head harder than he had. It had just been way too close.
Norway did not respond; he merely turned his head away so he was no longer looking at them. That made them suspect that he knew what could have happened, and once again they wondered what was going on with him. But it was obvious that they would get no more information out of him at that time.
"I'm going to call Sve and let him know that you'll be alright, and that we'll all be home later today," Finland said. He knew that Denmark and Iceland would stay with Norway until someone from the government came, so there wasn't any risk that Norway would be left alone, and that made this a good time to go make that phone call. None of them had known earlier if Norway would be admitted to the hospital again, or if his government would allow him to continue to stay with them after that morning's events.
Finland was also hoping to get a chance to ask the doctor some questions about Norway's situation—questions that he had not wanted to ask in front of the two members of the family who were closest to Norway. For one thing he wanted to find out how much time might be left before it would be too late to help Norway—to find out just how much time they might have to come up with a plan. And if that morning's events were anything to go by, there might be even less time than they had thought.
The phone call didn't take that long to make, and then he went in search of the doctor in order to ask questions he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answers to.
The doctor did not seem terribly surprised to see him. "I assume you want to talk about Haldor," he said. "Let's go back to the conference room." Nothing more was said until they were back in the room. "What is that you wanted to talk about?" he asked, once they were once again seated in the conference room.
"How much time is there before it might be too late to help him?" As much as he wasn't sure he wanted to know that answer to question, it needed to be asked.
"I'm not sure," the doctor said, after a few moments thought. "I don't know enough about your kind to be sure. However, I would guess based on his current condition, compared to the condition that he was in a few weeks ago, that there might be a couple more weeks before serious complications start showing up as a result of his not eating. Although, given what happened this morning, he may have less time than that. And he is starting to show some signs of complications already—for example, his blood pressure is lower than it should be. But, like I said, I can't say for sure."
That was the answer that Finland had been afraid of, but it was still frightening to realize that there might be so little time left to get through to Norway. And no one in the family had any idea how to do that yet.
"Do you want us to bring him in more often to make sure that he doesn't start developing complications?" Finland asked. They probably should have been doing that anyway, but it hadn't been arranged before they had taken Norway home with them.
"That might be a good idea if he doesn't start improving soon. I wish we had the option of getting Haldor into some kind of treatment program, but given his status that isn't possible." He was silent for a few moments before saying, "You seem to be the one most involved in taking care of Haldor. Is that an accurate assumption to make?"
"Yes." Finland wasn't sure where the doctor was trying to take the conversation, but he hoped that it might lead to something that would allow them to help Norway.
"Has he talked to you at all about any of the things that are bothering him?"
"A few times. I can't tell you any of what he said though." Telling the other members of the family that Norway might be in danger had been one thing, but he would not betray Norway's trust by telling a human anything—even a human who genuinely seemed to care about Norway.
"I wasn't going to ask you to tell me anything. I just hoped that he was talking to someone. I'm not a psychologist but I have consulted with the one who was initially brought in on Haldor's case. She feels that he won't get better unless he talks to someone. And I think that may have been what caused his relapse a few months ago as well. Birger put him in a situation that he didn't think he could talk about, so he took control of the one thing that he could. It may also have been a cry for help—he might have been hoping that someone would see that he was getting worse and take him out of that situation. For some reason, he didn't think he could report the way Birger was treating him. What I can't figure out is why he is still not eating, now that he is out of that situation."
"I'm not sure if he realizes he has a problem," Finland admitted. He had said something similar in the earlier conversation, when he had said that Norway claimed to have the situation under control. "And as long as he thinks that, there isn't much we can do to help him."
"I have one suggestion," the doctor said. "Keep trying to get him to talk. Something is bothering him so much that he is jeopardizing his health rather than deal with it. And if it doesn't get resolved somehow, there is a very real chance that Haldor will not survive past the end of the summer."
That last statement was about what Finland had suspected, although he had hoped they might have more time than that—and he had known it would come up in this conversation at some point. That was why he had not wanted the rest of the family to hear it. The previous night, they had all become aware of the fact that they might not be able to save Norway and that time was running out. But Finland had not wanted them to know how little time might be left—and that was without any more incidents like what had happened this morning and not taking into the account the danger that Scandia might still pose.
And, if it was true that the only way to help Norway was to get him to talk, then they really didn't have much chance of being able to save him. Norway did not walk to talk about anything right now, and Finland suspected that their previous conversations had only scratched the surface of the amount of pain Norway was trying to keep concealed.
Author's notes: Just in case anyone doesn't remember, the shortcut that was mentioned in this chapter is the one through that other dimension that only the nations can access.
I don't think I have any special notes this time, other than to say that the next chapter should be out early in March. (I might try to post it on the 8th, since that would be the anniversary of the day I posted "Family Secrets".) I've got a pretty clear plan for the next several chapters, so assuming no website problems or writer's block, I should continue to be able to make pretty regular updates.
