[APH] The Long Road: Part 1a

[lothinielflowermaiden]

Summary: Sequel to "Family Secrets." In the aftermath of the revelation of a terrible secret, the other Nordics have to help Norway deal with what happened. But they soon find that their help might not be enough, and they might unintentionally make things worse.

Author's Notes: This is the sequel to "Family Secrets," and you need to read that story in order for this one to make sense. This story is going to start almost right after the end of "Family Secrets." I used the same online translator that I used for "Family Secrets" so any mistakes in other languages are the fault of the translator. Another translation issue that I forgot to mention in "Family Secrets": The nations address each other by whatever the names are in their own language.

Warnings: Since this story continues to deal with the issues from "Family Secrets" it will get pretty dark at times. Especially for the first few chapters. The situation is going to get worse for a few chapters. This story deals with the aftereffects of child sexual abuse. It also contains references to past mpreg. Any specific warnings for later chapters will be given in that chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot.

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The Long Road

 

Chapter One

Over the next couple of weeks, Norway's condition improved, and his family's worry lessened. Just the couple of hours of peaceful sleep he had gotten that first day had been a big help. When he had woken up, shortly after midday, he had seemed a little more focused. They had brought him down to the living room for the part of the afternoon and evening, but he hadn't been able to do much more than just lie on the couch and rest. It had seemed to comfort him somewhat to have all of them around, though, and they were all so relieved that he was safe, that just having the whole family together was enough.

That day, and the following day, he was still too weak to get around on his own. The others took turns sitting with him in his bedroom, and sometimes Denmark or Sweden would bring him downstairs for a few hours.

As the days wore on, Norway got stronger. He was still far too thin, and it would be a long time before he could gain back all the weight he had lost, but he was no longer as weak as he had been that first day. By the end of the first week, he was able to get around more on his own. He still had not been out of the house, but he was able to go downstairs without help.

In January, the world meeting was delayed for a week because of New Years. The rest of the family felt that by the time the meeting was held, Norway would be well enough to attend.

They had no idea how wrong that assumption would prove to be. However, they saw no reason for concern at the time. Norway was recovering, and the meeting was being held nearby in Germany's territory. And Norway didn't object to the idea of going to the meeting. On some level he was aware of what five months of missed meetings must have looked like, and realized that he could not miss anymore meetings for a while.

The other Nordics were all keeping a close eye on Norway, but by all indications he was back to normal. The most noticeable sign of what he had been through that autumn was how thin he still was.

At first none of the other nations commented on the fact that Norway had missed so many meetings in a row. The meeting had already gotten off to its usual start, and America and England were already arguing with each other about something.

By this point, Iceland was the only one that was still watching Norway, and he could see that his brother looked almost nervous. And it was a noticeable emotion, not just the slight changes to his usual emotionless mask that only the other Nordics knew how to interpret.

The meeting was rapidly descending into total chaos, and Germany, who was hosting this meeting, and who usually kept order anyway, had had enough. "Can you take the situation seriously for once?" he yelled at England and America. He then went on to reiterate the rules for conduct at world meetings, ending with, "And no more missing five meetings in a row. It sets a bad precedent." He walked around the circle of tables until he was standing in front of Norway. "What excuse do you have for missing so many meetings anyway?"

Norway did not respond to Germany's question. He was looking in the direction of where the other man was standing, but did not appear to be seeing him. There was a disconnected look in his eyes, which was not unusual, but there was also a hint of extreme fear. His hands were starting to shake.

Then, he stood up and turned to leave, when suddenly he froze. He stumbled slightly and grabbed the back of his chair to keep from falling.

By this time, everyone was watching Norway, and they could see that something was wrong with him. Of course, the other Nordics had some idea what was wrong with him, but they weren't sure what had happened to set it off.

Denmark stood up, and grabbed hold of Norway's arm to help support him.

Norway immediately started struggling to get away, still caught by whatever it was that he was remembering. "Nei! Forsvinn! Jeg vil ikke gå gjennom det igjen!"1 He was breathing rapidly, and was clearly terrified of something.

"Norge, what's wrong?" Denmark still had his grip on Norway's arm.

Norway didn't answer, but his struggles to get away intensified.

"Let go of him. You're making it worse," Finland said.

Thankfully, this was one of those rare times when Denmark had the sense to do as someone told him. Norway calmed down a little once he was free, but he was still breathing too rapidly, and he still seemed frightened.

"Norja, you're safe here. We won't let anyone hurt you. Can you tell us what frightened you?" Although he was just as worried as the rest of the family, Finland knew that he had to stay calm if he was going to get Norway to calm down.

Norway just shook his head. He couldn't tell anything in front of all these people . . . he couldn't let the whole world know how weak he was. He was trying to calm down, but he couldn't even get his breathing back under control.

"Do you know where you are?" Finland asked.

"Yes."

"We're all here with you, and we won't let anyone hurt you. Do you want to go out into the hallway?"

"Yes."

They went out into the hall. Finland stayed close to Norway but made no attempt to touch him. There were benches lining the hall and they went and sat down on one of those just outside the door. Norway was still breathing too rapidly, and Finland knew that taking care of that was the only way he could get the other man calmed down fully. He had looked up the information on this just in case, and he used one of the suggestions he had read about. He got Norway to focus on counting his breaths, and slowly the other man's breathing returned to normal.

Once he was no longer in the grip of the panic attack, Norway rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes, clearly exhausted. He was still regaining his strength and that attack had almost been more than he could handle.

A few minutes later the rest of the family came out into the hall. Iceland sat down next to his brother on the bench and took hold of his hand. Denmark and Sweden stood nearby, trying not to look like they were hovering. (Or rather, Sweden kept Denmark from hovering.) They were all worried, but were trying not to show it. They were relieved that at least Norway was calmer now, but they no longer felt as confident as they had before about his recovery.

"How are you feeling?" Denmark asked, before realizing what a stupid question that was. Not that that would have stopped him from asking it.

Norway didn't answer, although he did open his eyes to look at the rest of his family.

---

"He was getting better," Denmark said, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself.

It was later that evening, and the family had gone back to the hotel where they had booked rooms for the night. Norway had gone straight to the room that he was sharing with Iceland. He was worn out from the events that had occurred earlier that day. Iceland had stayed in the room to watch over his brother, while the other three had gathered to discuss the situation.

"What happened to him is difficult to recover from, though. Considering the condition he was in when I found him, I'm surprised he's been doing as well as he has. And, physically, he is doing much better than he would be, if he was human."

"C'n we h'lp h'm?" Sweden asked. It was the question all of them had been wondering about after the incident at the meeting.

"I don't know," Finland said, after thinking for a few moments. "If he was human, I would say we should take him to a hospital, or at least insist he get professional counseling. However, neither of those is an option for him . . . We're the only ones who can help him, but I don't think we're enough."

They were all worried about Norway. Their worry had lessened in the last few weeks, after he had been found and brought back home. However, the incident at the meeting had caused the worry to return full force, and they were no longer sure if Norway would be all right.

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It was completely dark, and Norway could feel something menacing out there in the darkness. He was trying to hide from whatever it was, but there was no place to hide. There was never any place to hide. He sat down on the ground, drew his knees up to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them, trying to make himself as small as possible.

He could hear the sound of footsteps approaching, and he was being pulled to his feet and dragged over to the bed. He struggled to escape, but the grip on his arm tightened, and soon he was being pushed down onto the bed.

"Please, don't," he whispered, knowing even as he spoke the words that they would not be listened to.

The person above him reached out and caressed his cheek in a parody of an affectionate gesture. "You know this is all you're good for, don't you?" a voice whispered. "Even your brothers realized that much. You are nothing more than this, and more land that they can add to their empires."

He didn't want to believe that, but the evidence that it was true was right there in his history. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see what he knew was going to happen. He tried to distance himself as much as he could from what was happening, but he could still feel hands touching him. And he could still hear his father's voice saying that this was all he was good for. That he did not deserve anything else.

Norway tried to block everything out, both the words and the physical pain of the assault. He could still feel it, but his awareness of it was lessened.

His dulled awareness kept him from knowing exactly how much time passed. When it was over, he was aware of the pain, and of the fact that the room was no longer as dark has it had been. He was no longer being held down on the bed, but he was too sore to try getting up. He rolled onto his side, curling into an almost fetal position. He knew that he would be sore the next day, and that he would have to work to hide it from the others. He would not be able to bear the way they would look at him, if they knew his secret. As much as he wanted it all to stop, he could not risk letting Scandia's attention turn to Iceland. He had to protect his child.

Norway could see Scandia watching him from near the door. He hoped that meant his father was planning to leave the room for the rest of the night. That was the way it usually happened, but there had been a couple of nights when Scandia stayed the whole night and sometimes even wanted another round. Norway closed his eyes, hoping that when he opened them, Scandia would be gone.

As Norway had hoped, when he opened his eyes, he was alone in the bedroom. The darkness had returned, but it did not feel quite as threatening as it had before. Before he could relax though, he became aware of the sound of a baby crying. He left the room and went in search of the source of the sound. The crying continued, but there seemed to be no one else in the house. He knew the others had been there earlier, and now they weren't. He also could not find the source of the crying.

And then, suddenly, he knew. He sat down on the floor in the hall, and put his hands over his ears. But the crying did not stop, and he could not block it out. It almost seemed to be growing louder.

He flinched slightly when someone touched his shoulder. After a moment, he looked up to see Scandia standing over him. Scandia's grip on his shoulder tightened until it was painful, and Norway knew that he would have a bruise there, if he did not already have one from being held down on the bed.

"They are going to find out what you did," Scandia said. "And then, they will think even less of you than they already do. And you know what will happen if your cousin learns about any of this."

Norway did not reply to his father's words. He had no reply that he could give.

Scandia's grip on Norway's shoulder tightened even more, until it felt almost like a vise. He continued to make comments like the ones he had made earlier, and Norway just tried to ignore what his father was saying. But, his father's voice was the one voice that he could never block out. Sometimes, he heard it even when Scandia had been gone for years, and now that Scandia was back . . .

After several minutes, Norway couldn't take anymore of his father's accusations. "Stop it!" he exclaimed. He tried to get away, but Scandia's grip was too tight. "Go away!"

The next thing he knew, he was in a bed in an unfamiliar room. Norway did not recognize his surroundings and had no memory of leaving the hall. He sat up and looked around for Scandia, sure that his father must be lurking somewhere in the room. It was too dim in the room for him to make out anything clearly, although a faint light could be seen from a window. He could see no sign of Scandia, but he did not let his guard down.

He could hear someone talking to him, but the sound seemed to come from a great distance away, and he could not make sense of the words or recognize the voice. He didn't think it was Scandia, but Scandia's voice had been the last one he heard before finding himself here.

A hand touched his shoulder, startling him. The memory of Scandia gripping his shoulder was still fresh in his mind and made him strike out towards the person touching him. It was as he did so, that his surroundings came into focus, and he realized who the other person with him was . . . who he had just hit.

Suddenly, he felt like he had to get away. He had just done what he vowed never to do. He had attacked his own child . . . he was no better than Scandia. He had to get out of there. It was the only way he could protect Iceland. He had vowed that he would never hurt his child, and now he had done so.

Norway got out of bed as quickly as he could. As soon as he was standing, a wave of dizziness swept over him, and he grabbed the edge of the bed to keep from falling. He couldn't catch his breath, and there was a tightness in his chest. He hated the feeling of not being able to breathe; it brought back other bad memories. He let go of the bed, and took a few steps towards the door. He needed to get out of there, before he hurt Iceland again. He could hear Iceland was something to him, but he couldn't understand. All he could focus on was his need to escape, and his futile attempt to catch his breath.

The dizziness was getting worse, and Norway used the wall to steady himself and keep from falling. He still felt like he couldn't breathe, and he needed to get out of there. He let go of the wall and took another step. The room was beginning to fade from view, and he felt himself falling.

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Translations:

1. No! Go away! I will not go through that again! (Norwegian)