Long Road Chapter 11
Aug. 7th, 2011 08:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lothinielflowermaidenImportant note: Although this story is taking place modern day, it is not taking place this year. It will not deal in any way with what happened last month.
Warnings: This chapter does contain some victim blaming. It also contains a flashback that will contain emotional and physical child abuse. Also, all warnings mentioned in the previous chapters, and in "Family Secrets" still apply.
Extra disclaimer: This chapter contains a quote from a first season episode of CSI. The episode is called "Blood Drops." The quote comes from the end of the episode, and therefore contains spoilers for that episode, however, I decided that season was long enough ago that I could get away with doing that.
Chapter Eleven
It hadn't been clear who that final comment had been directed at, but neither of them obeyed it. Norway kept his attention focused on the road in front of the hotel, not wanting to look at someone who so closely resembled Scandia, afraid that if he did so the memories would return. And, he was also inwardly preparing himself to see the rest of the family.
Sweden had known the statement was directed towards him, but this didn't seem like a good time to bring up any of the things he needed to talk to Norway about. So, instead, he used the time to watch Norway, and was relieved to see how much better Norway looked, at least physically.
The splint had been removed from Norway's wrist, although the injury had left a noticeable scar. Although Norway still looked like he wasn't sleeping enough, the shadows under his eyes were less pronounced. And, best of all, Norway no longer looked like he was in danger of starving to death. He was still far too thin, but he had at least gained back some weight.
After several moments, Norway looked up and realized he was being watched. Their eyes met for a moment, before Norway looked away again. "Don't," he said. He didn't want to be looked at like that, not by someone that he knew was waiting for him to fail.
"Norge, wh't's wr'ng?" Sweden wasn't sure what Norway had been referring to with that statement, since he hadn't been doing anything. He was a little worried that Norway had mistaken him for Scandia again.
"Stop staring at me like that." There was more he wanted to say, but he couldn't actually say any of it.
"S'rry."
They were spared any further awkwardness by the arrival of the rest of the family.
"Nor!" Denmark immediately went up to Norway and pulled him into an embrace. Norway tensed at first, but after a few seconds he relaxed into the embrace.
After another few moments, Norway had had enough of being held, though, and he began to struggle a little bit, eventually managing to raise his hands enough to push Denmark away, forcing the larger man to let him go. Then he looked around at the rest of the family.
Finland had gone over to stand by Sweden, and appeared to have just said something to him. Sweden appeared to be glaring at Denmark, although it was hard to tell the difference from his usual expression. His expression just seemed slightly more intense than usual.
Iceland had remained a short distance away from the rest of the family. Until that moment, Norway had allowed himself some small hope that when they saw each other again, Iceland might have accepted their true relationship, especially since he had admitted it out loud when they had spoken briefly the previous month. Although, Norway knew that he shouldn't expect his child – his brother – to accept something that he still had trouble with.
"Island." Norway barely spoke above a whisper, but it was loud enough for the rest of the family to hear.
For a few seconds, their eyes met, and Iceland took a few steps closer to Norway. "Noregur." That was all he said.
Although both Norway and Iceland had things they wanted to say, the fact that each of them believed they knew what the other was thinking kept either of them from speaking.
They did not talk about any of the issues they were currently dealing with until after breakfast. Instead, all conversation was kept to neutral topics. In fact, they were even more cautious than usual as to what they discussed.
The rest of the family was relieved to see that Norway ate close to half of his breakfast. The last time they had seen him, they still had to force him to eat more than a few bites at every meal.
After breakfast, they did not return to the hotel, thinking it would be better to try to resolve the situation before returning to where the other nations could see them. So, they went to a small park not too far from the restaurant where they'd had breakfast.
None of them were really looking forward to this conversation, although they all knew there were things that needed to be said. It was not an unheard of for families to be torn apart by something like what they were currently dealing with. And based on all that had happened so far, it looked like they risked being one of those families.
Although the Nordics presented the front of being a very close family, they weren't really as close as the rest of the world believed they were. True, they spent a lot of time together, and some of them didn't really have any close relationships outside their family. But the only way the family managed to spend as much time together as they did was due to an unspoken agreement to never discuss certain topics.
"Did you get the letters we sent you, Norja?" Finland asked, to begin the discussion.
"What letters?"
The rest of the family exchanged looks after hearing that answer. They had suspected that Norway might not be getting the letters they were sending him. But they hadn't really believed his government would really interfere like that.
"We wrote to you after we left. We all wanted to make sure that you knew that we were still concerned about you, even though we had to leave."
For a few moments there was silence, before Norway said, "I never got any letters." He still wasn't sure he believed what they were telling him. After all, why would everyone have kept bringing up the fact that his family hadn't contacted him, if they had been sending letters?
Meanwhile, the rest of the family was beginning to get even more worried. They suspected now that Norway's government had been lying to him, but they were unsure of the extent of the lies, or of how many people were involved.
"Norja, did anyone tell you why we left?" Finland asked. He was the one asking most of the questions, because he was the one that Norway seemed most willing to trust.
At first, it seemed as though Norway wouldn't answer. In fact, he would not even look at his family. "Birger said you had more important things to do, and that you didn't care anymore," he admitted at last, still not looking at them. The last part of that admission had been said so quietly that the rest of the family barely heard it.
"Norja, that wasn't really the reason we left." Finland tried to think of the best way to explain what had happened. After all, it probably would not be a good idea to come right out and accuse Norway's government of lying to him.
Unfortunately, one member of the family had no such qualms. "Nor, they must have been lying to you for some reason. They're the ones who sent us away, and they probably intercepted the letters we sent you as well."
At that statement, Norway turned back around to face them. His face wore its usual cold expression, and when he spoke, his voice betrayed no sign of emotion. Only his words gave any hint as to his feelings. "My government would not lie to me. And they're the ones who cared enough to stay. Birger said that you were trying to take advantage of the condition I was in, and that if you really cared, you would have contacted me after you left."
"Nor-"
"Don't. I don't want to hear any more of your lies. You said that you wouldn't leave, and you did. So, why should I believe anything else you say?" For just a moment, there seemed to a sign of some of emotion on his face, but it was gone too quickly for anyone to be sure they'd really seen it.
For a few moments, none of them said anything. They all knew this discussion was going a lot worse than they had expected it to. But at the moment, none of them were quite sure what to say to fix the damage that their telling the truth had apparently caused. None of them had any idea what Norway had been told by his government, and so they could not really address it. They knew of at least two lies his government, or at least one person from it, had told him. But, they could not be sure if that was the full extent. And they were also beginning to suspect that Birger may have been trying to turn Norway against them.
Norway had turned away from them again. Since they could not see his face anymore, they had no way to look for clues as to what he might be feeling. But something they had seen in that brief moment that his expression had slipped worried them. None of them knew what to say, and at least some of them felt that saying that wrong thing now might cause irreparable damage.
Norway couldn't believe that his family would lie to him like that, but he also couldn't believe his government had lied.
Despite the warmth outside, a chill swept over him, and he shivered. He could feel the wall that he had forced all of his emotions behind crumbling under the blow of this final lie. He wished his family would just admit the truth, rather than pretending that they still cared about him. Anything would be better than having them make accusations against his government in order to exonerate themselves.
He could feel wetness at the corners of his eyes, and he knew he was losing the battle to keep the wall from breaking. But he would not give his family the satisfaction of seeing him break down. He had to get away before that happened. He stood up, and walked away, ignoring the calls from behind him. The tears were still forming, and he knew it was only a matter of time before they would fall, but he still managed to make it almost to the street before he could hold everything back no longer. Norway wiped away the tears that were beginning to fall, but more took their place, and his vision was becoming too blurred by tears for him to go any further. Falling to his knees, he surrendered to the emotions he could no longer hold back.
Norway didn't know how much time passed, before enough awareness returned for him to hear someone coming up behind him. He turned and looked up at them, though a film of tears that still filled his eyes. The person who was approaching him was not someone he recognized; instead it was a strange man who was wearing some sort of uniform.
"Sir, are you alright?" the man asked.
It took a few moments before Norway was even able to understand the words, and even then, he could not remember how to answer.
"Sir?" the man asked again. "Do you need help?"
Norway wanted to tell the man that he was okay, but he couldn't manage to remember the English words. He wasn't even sure he could speak at all, as it was almost more than he could do to even focus on the man talking to him.
The next thing he knew he was being pulled into a very familiar embrace. As if from a great distance, he could hear voices, familiar voices, talking to the other man, and he realized that his family had followed him.
That brief moment of clarity vanished, as another wave came over him. Norway was only dimly aware of the arms holding him, and the voices of his family around him. In the brief moments of clarity between each wave, he became aware of their presence, which acted as an anchor to keep him from being swept away by the tempest.
The first thing Norway became aware of was that someone was running their fingers through his hair, and that someone else was holding his hand. He was lying on some sort of hard, slightly uneven surface, with his head resting on what felt like someone's lap. It took him a couple of attempts to open his eyes, which felt swollen and painful. He wasn't able to keep them more than halfway open, due to the headache that immediately made itself felt.
Still, Norway was able to see enough to take in his surroundings. He was lying on a park bench, in the shade of a large tree, and his head was resting on Denmark's lap. He managed to turn his head to the side enough to discover that Iceland was kneeling on the ground beside the bench, and holding his hand. He couldn't see Sweden and Finland, but he suspected they were probably nearby as well.
"Nor? Are you back with us?" Denmark asked. He was still running his fingers through Norway's hair.
Norway managed to find the energy to nod. He felt almost completely drained of energy, and his mouth was so dry he couldn't speak. But he felt the safest he had felt since those few weeks right after Christmas.
"See if you can help him sit up. We need to get him some water." Finland said, confirming Norway's suspicion that the other two family members had stayed as well.
Iceland let go of Norway's hand, and stood up, walking a short distance away. Meanwhile, Denmark helped Norway into a partial sitting position, and continued to support him, while keeping him within a protective embrace.
Finland approached the bench, holding a small plastic water bottle. He uncapped the bottle and held it to Norway's lips. "Try to drink some of this," he said.
All too soon, the water was taken away again, but the few sips of water were enough that Norway was able to talk again. "You didn't leave."
"We weren't going to leave you alone like that," Denmark said, his grip on the smaller man tightening.
For a few moments, Norway was content to lean back and relax. He felt safe, surrounded by his family like that, and held securely in his older brother's arms, although he would never admit out loud that he liked being held like that. Norway's eyes drifted closed, and his awareness slipped away again.
"We need to get him back to the hotel," Finland said. "He'll be able to rest better in an actual bed."
"He's alright isn't he?" Denmark asked. "He's not going to get sick again, is he?" He was gently running his fingers through Norway's hair, being extra careful to avoid the stray curl. Norway seemed to be sleeping peacefully, his head resting in Denmark's lap.
"I think Norja just wore himself out from crying. You shouldn't have told him like that. I was trying to think of a more diplomatic way to tell him."
"I didn't think he'd get that upset."
"Y' told h'm h's government lied t' h'm."
"I'm going to call a cab. We really do need to get Norja back to the hotel," Finland said, hoping to avoid another argument from starting.
For the last hour, the previous argument had been forgotten, as the entire family had been focused on helping Norway. However, now that Norway had calmed down and seemed to be resting peacefully, Denmark and Sweden seemed to have remembered that they were still angry at each other.
None of them were used to seeing Norway as upset as he had been, and they had not been sure what to do. They had stayed with him, and done their best to make sure he knew they were there, and that he was safe. But now, the important thing was to get him back to the hotel.
They were able to get Norway back to the hotel without too much trouble. Although they had needed to help him to the cab, by the time they actually reached the hotel, he had woken up enough to be able to walk on his own. Of course, that didn't stop the others from keeping an extra close eye on him for the time it took to get him upstairs to his room, and settled in the bed, with a damp washcloth over his eyes.
Despite the fact that they all knew he would be alright this time, none of them wanted to leave him alone. Although none of them said so, they were all remembering what had happened when they had left him alone before, to go talk in the kitchen. They all knew that Scandia was no longer a threat, if only because none of them had any intention of letting him get anywhere near Norway ever again, and that was if he ever even came back again. Considering that the whole family knew the truth, none of them believed Scandia would ever visit again.
There was also the issue of the nightmares that they all knew Norway had. Well, they didn't know if he was still having them, but it still provided another excuse not to leave him alone.
Although none of them would admit it out loud, they were all still very worried about Norway. Physically, he really did seem to be recovering, even if he was still noticeably underweight. But his emotional state worried them. They were all used to Norway almost never showing any emotion beyond small hints they were only able to catch because they spent enough time around him. For the past several months, they had witnessed more displays of emotion from him than they could ever remember seeing before. That was certainly understandable, but it left all of them a little unsure of what to do for him.
"I don't know what else we can do to help him," Finland said, once they had all taken up stations around the bed. From the beginning, he had taken the lead in what they had done to help Norway. He had been the one to find Norway and bring him home back in December. And he was the one that Norway still seemed less likely to react negatively towards. "I think he needs to talk to someone, but I don't know if he will."
It was only early afternoon when Norway woke up. He had only slept a little over an hour, but thankfully his sleep had been free of nightmares. Although, the nightmares no longer came every time he slept, they were still frequent enough that any relief from them was a blessing.
His eyes no longer felt as swollen as they had earlier, and his headache had mostly gone away while he slept. Although he no longer felt so tired, there still some lingering tiredness. It was a few minutes before he opened his eyes and looked around. That was when he discovered that his family had stayed in his room while he slept.
Norway really hadn't expected his family to stay and watch over him. After all, whatever they were claiming, they had left before. Why should he think this time would be any different? And why did he care anyway? It wasn't like he really needed their help. He could manage just fine on his own. He had dealt with this alone for years, for centuries. He didn't need to have someone watching over him all the time.
But at the same time, Norway was glad his family had stayed. And he wanted to believe they still cared.
"You don't need to stay any longer. I'm alright now," he said, pushing himself into a sitting position. He needed to be alone to rebuild his defenses. Although at the moment, he still felt okay, he already missed the comforting numbness that had gotten him through the last two months.
For a few moments, none of the others spoke or moved. They merely regarded him in silence. Then Denmark reached out, as if to touch Norway's shoulder. Unintentionally, Norway flinched away from the touch, an expression of fear briefly crossing his face.
"Nor, what's wrong?"
"Don't touch me." The last clear memory Norway had from before his family had left him at the hospital was when Denmark had refused to stop touching him. He remembered suddenly feeling terrified, and then there was that blank spot in his memory. Although he had never managed to figure out what had happened then, he suspected it was the reason his family had left. Something he had done, and couldn't remember doing, had driven them away, and made them stop caring . . . But then, if they had stopped caring, why where they here now? Norway closed his eyes, and shook his head in attempt to dispel the thoughts that kept going around in circles in his mind. He didn't know what to think anymore.
With his eyes closed, Norway couldn't see what was going on in the room, but he though he could hear the others moving around. And after a few moments, he heard Finland say, "Tanska, give him some space. You're upsetting him."
"I just wanted to make sure he was alright. And he didn't mind being touched back in the park."
"H've y' f'rgott'n wh't happened b'fore? Why don't y' just st'y aw'y fr'm h'm, b'fore y' make h's condition w'rse ag'n."
"I wasn't going to hurt him. And he doesn't always have a problem with being touched. How am I supposed to predict whether he's going to react badly or not? And it's not like you've done anything to help him!"
"'nd 'll y've done 's make h'm worse!"
Norway brought his hands up to cover his ears, as his older brothers continued their argument. He did not open his eyes to look at them, but he knew it was only a matter of time before they would begin really fighting. It would be just like it had been back when they had lived together, in those last several years of the Kalmar Union when Denmark and Sweden had fought with each other all the time. During the last few decades, they had started to be civil to each other, at least, but now they were fighting again, and it was all his fault. They wouldn't be fighting, if he had been strong enough to get over something that he should have gotten over long ago. It would have been better if they had never found out. Now he was tearing the family apart, all because he had been too weak to keep Scandia from using him. But at least he knew the truth now. He really was nothing more to his family than something to fight over.
Norway wasn't the only one who was reminded of the last days of the Kalmar Union, although the rest of the family knew that this was the second big argument that Denmark and Sweden had had recently.
The two of them were so focused on their argument, that they did not actually notice the person they were arguing about. They did not see Norway cover his ears with his hands. They did not hear his breathing speed up, signaling the possible beginning of another panic attack. They did not see Norway lie back down on the bed, and curl up into a fetal position under the blankets.
Iceland was the one who noticed the effect the fight was having on Norway. Although he had still kept his distance, he had not actually taken his eyes off his brother. And, unlike the rest of the family, Iceland was too young to really remember the fights during the Kalmar Union. His memories of those years were about how Norway had tried to shield him from the fights. If he had been in the room when a fight had started, Norway had always taken him out of the room and kept him distracted until the house quieted down. If he had been woken up during the night by the fighting, Norway had always come into his room soon after, and sat with him until it was quite again.
But now, Norway was the one who needed to be protected from the argument, which was obviously upsetting him.
"Stop it!" Iceland yelled at Denmark and Sweden, actually startling them into stopping their fight to look at him. He gestured toward the bed. "Look at what you're doing to him!"
And at last they saw what their fight had caused, and that was enough to keep them from arguing anymore for the time being.
For a few moments, they all just stayed right where they were. None of them were sure how to handle this situation, especially if Norway really did end up having another panic attack. The way he was currently trying to block them out limited their options for reassuring him. And they all remembered what had happened in the hospital, and how difficult getting through to him had been that time.
Iceland was now the one who was standing closest to the bed, but he was reluctant to touch Norway and could think of no other way to get his attention. "Noregur?" he said quietly. "Bróðir?" With the rest of the family in the room, he did not use the method he had used a month ago to get Norway's attention.
There was no response from Norway, although at least he did not seem any worse.
None of them liked the idea of just waiting to see if Norway would calm down on his own. Somehow they had to find a way to get through to him, but they couldn't think of a way to get his attention without possibly making his condition worse. Eventually though, the silence in the room began to have an effect.
At first it was barely noticeable. Norway gradually relaxed from his curled up position, shifting position a few times. Then, he moved his hands away from his hears. He grabbed onto the blanket with one hand, running his fingers over the fabric. Slowly, his breathing began to even out. Then, finally, he opened his eyes and his gaze focused on Iceland, who was standing in between him and the rest of the family. "Eirik?" his voice was little more than a whisper, and a hint of tiredness was visible in his eyes, along with other things that weren't so easily identified.
"Are you okay now, bróðir?" Iceland asked, realizing even as he asked how unnecessary that question was. Norway hadn't been really "okay" since before Scandia's visit.
Whatever emotions had been visible in Norway's eyes were quickly masked, as he turned away from the rest of the family. "I'm alright . . . I want to be alone now." His tone wasn't quite back to normal, but it was the closest it had been in a while.
None of them really wanted to leave Norway alone yet, but at the same time, they didn't want to go against his wishes. And so, with various degrees of reluctance they left his room.
Once he was alone, Norway got out of bed, ignoring the lingering tiredness. It was still common enough for his sleep to be disturbed by unpleasant dreams that he was very used to functioning while tired. Of course, most the days, the more accurate description would be trying to function. He knew that wasn't really dealing with all the issues that Scandia's visit had forced out into the open, but at the same time, he could not bring himself to accept help. He had to manage on his own. If he didn't, then he would really be as weak as he knew his family thought he was.
He hadn't been as unaware is it had seemed earlier, and he knew that Iceland was the one who had gotten Denmark and Sweden to stop arguing. Although he wanted to be feel grateful, instead he was embarrassed that he had needed to be protected by his child, of all people. It wasn't supposed to be that way. It was his responsibility to make sure that Iceland was safe; he was the parent after all. And now, Denmark and Sweden would definitely see him as nothing more than just something to fight over, if he couldn't even protect himself.
Norway went into the bathroom and scrubbed his face until it hurt. Only then was he satisfied that all traces of his earlier tears had been washed away. Then he brushed his hair and clipped his pin back into place. His clothes were wrinkled from having been slept in, but there wasn't much he could do about that.
Once he felt that he looked reasonably normal, he went to the desk and made another attempt to go over his papers. After fifteen minutes of staring at the same sentence without comprehending it, he gave up and went to stand in front of the window.
For a while, he stood there and watched the cars on the street below. There was a constant stream of cars, but they weren't really that interesting to watch. It gave him something to focus on at least. Before too long, he grew tired of that and returned to the desk.
This time his attempt at going over the papers lasted a little longer, before his thoughts began to creep up on him again.
At around three o'clock, he turned the tv on hoping the sound might drive away those thoughts and maybe make the time pass faster. He didn't bother to change the channel from the one the last occupant of the room had left it on. That channel was showing a rerun of one of America's many police dramas.
After a few minutes, a comment made by one of the characters on the show indicated that it was the one that took place in Las Vegas. Norway left the tv on the in the background, as he once again tried to go through the papers. Eventually, though, the show caught his attention, and he began to wish he had never turned it on.
The episode was about a family who had been murdered, leaving only two daughters, a teenager and a little girl, alive. Towards the end of the episode it was revealed that the father had sexually abused the little girl. He was about to turn off the tv before any more on the topic could be said, when a scene came on where a couple of the police officers were questioning the teenage girl. However, before he could actually push the button, his attention was caught by the scene on the tv.
"That was the last night he was going to touch her," the teenager was saying, finally revealing her motive for having her family killed.
"But why your mother? And why your brothers?" One of the policemen asked.
"Because they should have protected me!"
"You."
"My father . . . I was young. I learned to deal. But when he went for my daughter . . ."
"Brenda is . . .? And who is . . .?"
"The father? . . . I was thirteen . . . and nobody noticed that my clothes were getting bigger."
Norway finally managed to push the button to turn off the tv, as the teenager was saying something about having protected the little girl. That whole story had just hit too close to home, to close to what he was trying to deal with. His legs felt too weak to hold him, so he sat down on the edge of the bed. It was getting hard to breathe, and he could no longer push away his memories.
This time, he knew he could not push this back on his own. It was the third time today he had almost been overwhelmed, and he didn't have the energy to deal with it again. And that story had just been too close.
Although his legs still felt weak, he forced himself to stand up, and take the few steps to the desk where his phone was lying. He had to use the edge of the desk to support himself, as he picked up the phone. He pressed the speed dial for one of the numbers that had been programmed into the phone. As a ringing sound came from the other end of the line, the phone fell from his hand onto the floor as he was overcome by memories.
"You little freak! Do you realize the disgrace this will bring on our family?" Scandia was holding Norway's shoulder tight enough to bruise, his other hand raised as if to strike the boy.
Norway stood frozen in front of father, unable to defend himself. He felt like he was going to be sick again. For the past several days, he had felt nauseous almost all the time, especially early in the day, and he was barely able to keep anything down. And he felt exhausted, and his head was hurting. The first couple days he had assumed it was a reaction to something he had eaten, but several days had passed, and the sickness did not leave him. And eventually, his father had noticed.
Scandia was still talking. "I should have realized you were nothing more than a little freak when you started talking to things that weren't there. It might have been better for all of us if you had died with your mother."
This was the first time Scandia had ever said something like that. Norway was used to being told that his mother's death had been his fault, but he had never before been told that he should have died too. Although the only time his mother's death was ever really brought up was to serve as the reason he had to submit to what his father wanted.
He wished his older brothers were around, because if they were, Scandia would probably not be quite so . . . angry. Scandia was always careful to never show any sign of the real way he treated Norway when any others were around. That meant that Norway had to put up with comments about being Scandia's favorite, but it also meant that Scandia would only bother him at night. He wanted to believe that his brothers didn't know anything about what Scandia did to him. After all, they were rarely around, although they had been around more lately.
"You'll have to get rid of it," Scandia said, apparently coming to end of what he had to say.
It took Norway a few moments to realize what his father had said. "No," he said, as comprehension dawned.
"You realize that if you don't, the whole world will find out what a little freak you are," Scandia said. His grip on Norway's shoulder, tightened even more, causing the boy to wince at the pain it caused.
Somehow, Norway still found the strength to defy his father. His rested his free hand over his stomach. "I won't kill my child." It was the first time he had ever openly defied his father, but he couldn't do what Scandia wanted him to.
The anger that had already been in Scandia's expression grew. "You dare to defy me?" He tightened his grip even more, destroying any chance the boy may have had to escape, while with his other hand, he at least delivered the threatened blow, striking his son's face.
Tears formed in the corners of Norway's eyes from the pain of the blow, but he would not let them fall. He kept all signs of the fear he felt from showing in his expression.
The lack of response just seemed to infuriate Scandia further, and the first blow was followed by another, and another.
Suddenly, there was a sound like someone knocking at a door. Norway opened his eyes, and at first he did not recognize where he was. Then, he remembered that he was in a hotel room. He was lying on the floor by the desk, and his phone was lying on the floor nearby. Although he could not see it, the screen was lit up, showing that there was an active call.
The knock came again, and this time Norway was aware enough to realize that someone was knocking at the door to the room. With the memory still fresh in his mind, his first thought was that Scandia may have come back. Eventually, though, he pushed that thought out of his mind, as the knock sounded a third time.
Norway had to use the edge of the desk for support, as he stood up, and even then it took him a couple of attempts. His legs were still so weak that he had to keep grabbing onto something for support as he made his way to the door. Even when he reached the door, he still had to keep on hand on the wall for support as he checked to see who was on the other side. He was surprised to see Finland there, and it wasn't until then that he remembered the phone call he had tried to make before being overwhelmed. He remembered that he had tried to call his family to ask for help, but he hadn't known if the call had gone through.
It took him a couple of attempts to get the door open, and he had to let go of the wall in order to do so.
Finland seemed to notice right away how unsteady Norway was at the moment, as he immediately supported him. He helped Norway over to the nearest chair, and then went to pick up the phone, which lay forgotten on the floor. "I don't think he's hurt, but I think something upset him. I'm going to stay long enough to make sure he's alright."
It wasn't until then that Norway even realized the phone had been on the whole time. Of course, that meant that once again, his entire family probably knew how weak he was.
Finland pulled one of the other chairs in the room over, and sat down across from Norway. It was very obvious that he was concerned. "What happened, Norja?" he asked.
For a few moments, Norway didn't answer. He felt embarrassed, for having gotten so upset over something on a tv show that he had needed to call for help. When he finally answered, though, it wasn't the show that he talked about. Without really meaning to, he whispered, "I was too weak to stop him." It was the first time he had really said anything about what Scandia had done to him. "He said I would ruin our family, and that's exactly what's happening."
"Nothing that your father did to you was your fault, Norja," Finland said. "What your father did to you was awful, but he is the only one to blame for it." He reached out to touch Norway's hand, before saying. "It was not your fault." Only then did he address the other thing Norway had said. "And you are not ruining our family."
"Far said that I would bring disgrace on our entire family. He said it would have better for the whole family if I had died with my mother. I was never good for anything except what he wanted from me, and then I wasn't even any good for that, because I'm a freak." He was only repeating the words that were fresh in his mind from that memory.
"Norja, having a child does not make you a freak. And you have done nothing to bring disgrace on your family. We care about you, and none of us think we would be better off if you had died."
Norway felt tears forming in his eyes again, and he reached up with his free hand to wipe them away before they could fall. He had lost control enough for one day. He would not appear that weak again. His defenses were so low after the wringer that his emotions had been put through that day, that he could not stop himself from asking the next question. "If you care, then why did you leave?" There was a hint of anger in his voice. "You just left, without even saying goodbye. And then, just acted like everything was normal afterward."
"We didn't want to leave you," Finland said. "We were sent away, because that representative of your government thought we were the ones who hurt you. And we tried to call you, but your phone number had been disconnected, and we couldn't find the new number. And we wrote to you, as well."
"Birger said that he'd made sure you'd be given the new number. And that fact that none of you called was proof that you didn't care." Once again, he wiped the tears that were forming away before they could fall. "Why can't you just admit that you don't care?"
"Because we do care about you. When you called earlier, and we couldn't get any kind of response from you, we were really worried. If you'd taken much longer to open the door, the others were going to call the front desk and see if they could get someone to come open your door for us. And when you ran away last year, we spent five months looking for you. The one thing that we all wanted then was to know that you were safe. If we hadn't all wanted that so badly, I might not have been able to find you."
Norway didn't really have a response to that. He wanted to believe that Finland was telling the truth. That his family really did care about him. But he couldn't believe that Birger had lied to him either–why would someone from his government lie to him like that, after all? And there was something else that he had been told, something that Scandia had told him, that he couldn't forget about either, especially when he had evidence that it was true. "Far said that Danmark and Sverige never saw me as anything other than something to fight over. Isn't that why they were fighting earlier?"
It was several moments before Finland asked that question. At last, though, he said, "I told Sve that he needed to talk to you about that. But they are not fighting over you in the sense that you father meant it. If anything, they are fighting like that because they do care about you."
Norway wasn't sure whether he believed that. The tears that he had been trying to hold back since the conversation started at last began to fall, and he could no longer hold them back. Even as he let the tears start flowing, he hated himself for being so weak. This time though, the tears, did not overwhelm him like they had back in the park, and he remained aware that Finland was still holding his hand. At last, he got his emotions back under control, and used his free hand to wipe the last of the tears away. "I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling that he needed to apologize for his weakness.
"You don't need to apologize," Finland said, as he squeezed Norway's hand. "And just remember, that we'll all be here for you if you need to talk. We will do whatever is necessary to help you deal with that you father did."
For the first time in a long time, Norway really did feel a little better. Just being able to believe that family might really care about him after all, helped.
After all that had happened the day before, the actually meeting was uneventful. It was just the usual chaotic meeting. And then, the day after that, it was time for everyone to return to their own homes.
Although they all different flights, the Nordics had all gone to the airport together. They had stayed together during the meeting the day before, and had even arrived together. As far as the rest of the world could tell, whatever disagreement they had been having had been resolved. In truth, nothing had really been resolved, but a temporary truce had been reached, once Denmark and Sweden had been informed of the effect that their arguments were having on Norway.
One thing that had changed was the fact the rest of the family now had Norway's new phone number, and they would actually be able to call him during the next month. But they all knew that they probably would not see him again until the next month's World Meeting. They could only hope that he would be okay until then.
Author's Note: The length of this chapter got a little out of hand. I didn't mean for it to be so long, but I wanted to at least try to start getting some stuff resolved, and scenes kept needing to be added. The next chapter will probably skip ahead to May's world meeting. And of course, there's going to be something else happening that month as well.
