The Long Road: Chapter 4a

[lothinielflowermaiden]

 

Chapter Four

Once he had been sent back downstairs, Iceland had been left with nothing to do but wait. He kept seeing the image over again in his mind, and he couldn't get his mind to accept what Norway had done. And he was terrified of the possibility of losing his brother.

Six months ago, when he had first learned the truth of his parentage, Iceland hadn't known how to think of Norway. It had been hard enough to come to terms with the fact that they were brothers. Finding out that Norway was– He wasn't really sure how to finish that thought. Technically, Norway was his mother, but that was just too weird. And yet, he couldn't really refer to Norway as his father, could he? And how was he supposed to deal with the fact that his existence was a reminder of the traumatic event Norway was having so much trouble dealing with? Iceland kept coming back to that one thought. What if Norway's suicide attempt was his fault? What if his existence caused the death of the person who meant so much to him?

Close to an hour passed before Sweden and Finland came downstairs. Iceland couldn't tell from their expressions what had happened, although he could tell that the situation was serious. But then, he already knew that much. "Is Noregur alright?" he asked, when they did not immediately say anything.

"He will be. We found him before he'd lost too much blood." Meaning it had been possible to treat the injury with the available medical supplies.

"Can I go see him?" Iceland needed the visual confirmation that Norway was still alive.

Finland nodded. "For a few minutes, but don't wake him. He needs rest if he's going to recover. And when you come back down here, Sve and I need to talk to you."

Somehow Iceland sensed that he probably wasn't going to like whatever it was that Sweden and Finland wanted to talk to him about. Trying not to think about that, Iceland went upstairs to see his brother.

Norway was sleeping peacefully for the first time in several days. A bandage had been wrapped around his left arm, in order to keep the dressing over the wound. There was an IV going into his other arm, in order to treat the dehydration caused by blood loss. And it was obvious that Norway had lost a lot of blood; he was almost as pale as the snow that covered much of his land.

Iceland hesitated in the doorway, not wanting to enter the room and risk waking his brother. And anyway, it wasn't like Norway was alone in the room. Denmark had pulled a chair up to Norway's bedside and didn't seem to have any intention of leaving anytime soon. A couple of times, Iceland thought he saw someone else in the room, but it was only an impression out of the corner of his eyes. Whenever he looked directly at the spot, he never saw anyone there.

Once he had reassured himself that his brother was alright, at least for the time being, Iceland went back downstairs. The others probably hadn't been expecting him back so soon, because he caught part of a conversation he didn't think he was supposed to hear.

"I don't know what else we can do," Finland was saying. "We can't force Norja to accept our help, and if he's actually suicidal, we're not qualified to help him anyway."

"We'll just h've t' watch h'm," Sweden said.

"That won't fix the problem, though. And once he's recovered, physically, you know how he'll feel about having you and Tanska watching him all the time. If he thinks you're trying to take away his independence, that may push him over the edge, and we could lose him. He's been getting farther away from us ever since the meeting. I just wish he would talk to us. Whatever he's hiding is really hurting him."

"You said that he'd be alright," Iceland said, making his presence known.

Finland turned toward the door. It was clear from his expression that he hadn't known Iceland was there. "Islanti, I thought you were still upstairs!"

"I didn't want to risk upsetting Noregur," Iceland said.

"Come in and sit down, then. We need to talk to you."

Iceland came into the living room and sat down in a chair across from Sweden and Finland, who were sitting together on the couch. "Will Noregur really be okay?" he asked, dreading the answer after what he had just heard.

"He will be alright, physically," Finland said after a few moments. "Beyond that, I don't know."

"Is there any way to help him?"

"I don't know. I have no idea how to help someone who is suicidal. Norja needs more help than any of us can give him at this point." Silence fell again for a few moments before Finland continued. "Islanti, I wish I could tell you something more positive, but you're old enough to know the truth."

For the first time in a long time, Iceland almost wished he wasn't old enough. Usually, he tried so hard to get his family to treat him like an adult. Now, though, he just wanted someone to tell him Norway would be okay. "There has to be some way to help him."

"We can't do anything for him until he wants our help, though," Finland said. "We will try everything possible to help him, but in the end, it's going to depend on him. He has to want to live, or he won't get better." Once again silence fell. It was as if he was trying to put off something that he felt needed to be said. "This is the part you're not going to like, Islanti," Finland said at last. "We think that, for your own safety, it would be best if you went back to your house. There are too many cases of people killing their children before committing suicide, and Norja said he was afraid of hurting you."

"But I can't leave him," Iceland protested. "What if you can't save him?" He wiped away the tears that were starting to fall. Even now, he was still concerned with not being seen as a child. Maybe, especially now, since maybe if they didn't see him as a child, they wouldn't send him away.

"We're going t' save h'm. Even 'f we h've t' watch h'm all th' time unt'l he's better."

Since Iceland had overheard the fact that Finland didn't think that strategy would work, he didn't feel too confident, but that didn't stop him from using it as a way to convince them to let him stay. "If you're going to watch him all the time, then he can't do anything. So why can't I help?"

"Islanti, we are going to do everything we can to help Norja, but we can't guarantee anything. So far, the only idea we have is to watch him constantly, and you know how he will handle that. You heard what he said to Sve a few days ago." Finland sighed. "We want to be sure that you are safe. And if we do fail to save him, we don't want you to have to witness it."

Iceland could tell that his chances of getting them to change their minds were slim. But he couldn't stand the thought that if he left, he might never see Norway again. "Please, I don't want to be separated from him again. Not when it means possibly never seeing him again and not even getting a chance to say goodbye."

"If I'd kn'wn y' were h's son, I would't h've separated y' from h'm, b'f're," Sweden said. "W' tried t' get b'th of y'."

"Then why didn't you let us see each other?" Iceland asked. "You could have at least allowed us that much." He still remembered how it had hurt, being left behind when Norway had gone to live with Sweden. They hadn't seen each other again until after World War II, and the long years apart had left them as virtual strangers. They had had to relearn how to act around each other.

"I didn't w'nt t' risk Norge falling b'ck under Danmark's c'ntrol, 'nd Danmark wouldn't let y' come visit."

Iceland wasn't sure he completely believed that explanation, but it was the first explanation he had ever been given for the separation. But, it didn't change that fact that at moment, he did not want to be separated from Norway again. He tried the only strategy he could think of to change their minds—begging. "Please let me stay and help."

"We just don't think it's a good idea for you stay here," Finland said. "You don't have to leave right away, though. You can stay at least until Norja has recovered enough, physically, that you can talk to him long enough to say good bye. And there is one thing that you can do to help us, after you leave, if you would be willing to watch Sealand for us. He's currently staying with England, but we don't want to leave him there for too long. You know that he doesn't get along with England."

Iceland wasn't sure if he could look after Sealand for an unspecified length of time. He hadn't really known what to make of the micronation ever since the first time they had met. Since that first meeting, they had often seen other at family gatherings, and Iceland had frequently gotten drafted to entertain Sealand. However, the rest of the family had always been around, or at least, only gone for a few hours. But, he did know that Sealand wouldn't want to be left with England for too long, and at least this was something he could do. "I guess," he said, somewhat hesitantly. He was still determined to find a way to avoid being sent away, though.

---

The next morning when Norway woke up, he barely had the strength to open his eyes. He had only vague memories of what had happened the night before. In fact, he had almost no clear memories of what had happened since he had first locked himself in his room.

Soon after awakening, he became aware of a pain in his left wrist. By the time he became fully aware of that, he had managed to force his eyes to open a little. He could see enough to know that he was still in his bedroom, but lacked the strength to turn his head to look around anymore.

He felt a pressure on his uninjured hand, and realized that someone was holding his hand. He was saved from having to look and see who it was, when the grip on his hand tightened, and a familiar voice said, "Nor, you're awake." There was a definite tone of relief in the voice, which he recognized as Denmark's.

"Anko," Norway whispered. He did not have the strength to speak above a whisper. "What happened?"

Denmark did not reply to Norway's question. Instead, he said, "We were worried last night, Nor. Why did you do that?"

Norway was starting to remember what had happened, but he did not know how to answer Denmark's question. He could feel his strength draining, just from having spoken, and his eyes were starting to drift closed again.

---

Over the course of that day, Norway woke up a couple more times, but he never managed to stay awake for long. A couple of times, Finland made him stay awake long enough to eat or drink something.

He was never alone. Every time he woke up, at least one other member of his family was in the room with him. A couple of times all of them had been there. As he began to become more aware, he could tell that they wanted to question him. However, whenever he was awake, they said nothing of what had occurred the night before.

The rest of the family only talked about what had happened when Norway couldn't hear them. They had discovered earlier that day that once he fell asleep, their talking would not wake him.

"Are you sure he'll be okay? He's so weak. He can't even stay awake."

"I think he'll be alright, though. He was already weak from everything that he's been through."

That exchange had been the first of many similar ones. All of them were worried, and they no longer had any idea how to help Norway.

As the days passed, Norway's condition did not improve. At least, not enough to assuage his family's worry. The only thing they could think that gave them any hope was that maybe this was finally the low point. Maybe the situation would improve from here. Either way, they knew they were at least coming to a bend in the road. However, they could not be sure of what was lay behind. Although they hoped the situation might improve from this point, there was always a nagging fear that it may in fact worsen.