The Long Road Ch6

[lothinielflowermaiden]

Author's note: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter posted. I've had really bad writer's block lately, but it seems to finally be getting better. As far as warnings for this chapter go, all the ones from the previous chapters still apply, but are only mentioned for the most part. Oh, and the human characters that appear in this story and have been given names both have names that I got from a website called "Behind the Name." I got tired of referring to all humans by their job description. I'll put a note at the end of the chapter explaining why I chose the names I did.

 

Chapter Six

That evening when the rest of the Nordics got to see Norway, they were relieved to see that he seemed to be recovering a little. He wasn't as weak as he had been when they brought him in at least. In fact, although, he still seemed to be at less than full strength, he was the most alert he had been since his suicide attempt.

This time, they were all allowed to enter his room together, although the doctor had instructed them not to stay for too long. And unlike the night before, they had been prepared for his condition, which is why they were pleasantly surprised.

Norway was actually awake when they entered the room, and his bed had been raised into a sitting position. He was still hooked up to the heart monitor and the IV, but he no longer seemed quite as frail. He had been facing away from the door, but turned to look at them as they entered the room. "You really did stay."

"Did you think we wouldn't?"

"They'll make you leave eventually."

This time, the rest of the family was able to figure out that Norway was probably referring to his government. After all, the government had tried to get them to leave before.

"We're not leaving you, Nor," Denmark said.

"You never do anyway." It was the most normal thing Norway had said in a while. For a moment, the others took it as a good sign, until Norway spoke again. "You never noticed anything before. Why did you have to notice what Father was doing?"

"Would you rather we hadn't stopped him?"

"I would have preferred for none of you to have witnessed that. If you hadn't insisted on asking me all those questions, I wouldn't have been in the living room that morning. You never noticed before. Why did you have to notice when everyone would see? I never wanted Island to see that."

"Norge, if I had known you were being hurt back then, I would have gotten you away from him. But you never said anything was wrong."

"You were never around enough to see. And, back then, what he was doing wasn't wrong, so what could I have said?" After all, it wasn't like there had been laws against child abuse back when they were younger.

None of them really knew what to say in response to that. What Scandia had done was wrong by present day standards, but it hadn't been wrong back then. In fact, back then, Norway was more likely to be blamed for what happened than Scandia was.

"Nor, we would have done something if we'd known you were being hurt."

"No, you wouldn't. Not with all the things you did later." It wasn't for no reason that their union had been given the name it had, after all.

Until that point, none of the others had said anything. They were too relieved that Norway was finally talking about what had happened, and they didn't want to risk that he might stop. However, the change of subject made them prepared to intervene if necessary.

Of course, Denmark didn't know when to stop talking. "I did what was necessary to keep you alive."

"No, you did what was necessary to increase your own power. That was all you cared about. It was all either of you cared about."

"Nor . . ." Denmark reached out to touch Norway's shoulder.

"Don't touch me." Those words were not unusual, as Norway had told Denmark that so many times that neither of them could remember exactly how many times. Of course, Denmark had only listened about half of those times, at the most. But, that time, it wasn't the familiarity of the words that got to them; it was the fact that those were the same words that Norway had said, right before the secret had first come out. That night, there had been fear behind those words. This time, Norway had enough of his usual control back, that the rest of his family could not tell what lay behind them.

For a few moments, neither of them moved. Then, Denmark withdrew his hand, much to the relief of the rest of the family. Norway's condition was unstable enough without the risk of another panic attack.

An uncomfortable silence fell after that incident. It had been like this for months. Every time they would start to think they had a chance of getting through to Norway, something would make him push them away again. And every time that happened, the situation got worse. Considering the last time had led to Norway's suicide attempt, they did not want to risk that pattern repeating. But none of them seemed to be able to find the right thing to say. And the possible cost of saying the wrong thing was too high.

"We should leave, so you can rest," Finland said, once it became clear that Norway was apparently determined to ignore them.

"You can actually leave. You don't need to stay here. I don't need your help."

"We want to make sure you'll be alright." They had tried telling him that several times in the last few weeks. But all their attempts to get through to him failed. And somehow they got the impression that there was something they didn't know . . . that Norway was still hiding something from them.

And despite what they had said, they all knew that they could not stay with Norway indefinitely. Not just because of the fact that Norway's government was likely to send them away, but because they all had things they needed to take care of in their own countries. It may be easy for them to travel from one country to another, but that did not excuse spending so much time away from their own homes.

At the same time, none of them wanted to leave Norway until he was fully recovered. They had come too close to losing him. And they did not want to risk actually losing him.

---

The next day the doctors did decide that Norway was stable enough to have the surgery on his wrist. After all, the procedure was a minor one that could usually be done as an outpatient procedure. However, due to how unstable Norway's condition had been at first, they hadn't wanted to take any chances.

Even though Norway's condition was stable now, he still wasn't out of danger. His heart rate was still lower than it should be, and the doctors were concerned that the amount of weight Norway had lost may have damaged his heart. Then there was the issue of the weight loss. They needed to get his weight back up to healthy levels. But if Norway's heart had been damaged, there was a risk that it might not be strong enough.

And that wasn't even addressing the underlying psychological issues. Both the weight loss, and Norway's reluctance to eat were symptoms of anorexia. But the doctors were reluctant to actually make that diagnosis yet. The only diagnosis they had officially made was that Norway seemed to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.

All of these things had been discussed in a meeting between several of the people who were in charge of making sure that Norway was taken care of. After the doctor decided Norway was strong enough for the surgery, and made the arrangements for it, he asked Rosemarie, and the government representative to meet with him, do discuss what further arrangements needed to be made for Norway's treatment.

"You should talk to his family," Rosemarie said. "I can't think who else might have hurt him, but he did indicate that someone did."

Birger, the government worker who had been assigned to deal with the situation, asked, "Do you think he might be in danger from them?"

"Haldor denied that anyone from his family hurt him. But there was something not quite right about the way he did so. He also claimed that he didn't try to kill himself. But didn't his family say he was injured while locked in a room by himself?"

"He has several other cuts, besides that one on his wrist," the doctor said. "Could the one on his wrist just have been deeper than he intended?"

"I haven't had a chance to ask him about the other cuts, but he denied making the cut on his wrist. He claimed it just happened. That means that either he did it, and doesn't remember. Or he's lying, possibly to cover for the person who did hurt him."

"Do you think there's enough cause to commit him? Haldor needs to be somewhere he can be kept under close observation, until his weight is back up to a healthier level."

"And you can't do much about that, without finding out what's wrong with him," Rosemarie said. "Considering that he has denied hurting himself, and that there is no reason to believe he might be a threat to anyone else, we don't have enough cause to invoke Paragraph 5. But if you just keep him here in the hospital, you might be able to force him to start eating again, but there is no guarantee that he won't relapse as soon as he is allowed to leave. If nothing else, he needs to be in an environment where someone will be able to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't hurt himself again."

"I think in this case, an exception could be made. We can't afford to let anything more happen to Haldor. If that means we have to use drastic measures to protect him from himself or from his family, then we will do so. So that means we need to get him to tell us what happened."

---

Everything went okay with the surgery, although there hadn't been much need to worry anyway. Despite the worries expressed in the conference earlier, Norway seemed to be recovering. He had slept through two nights without nightmares. He was eating without having to be forced into it. And the extreme weakness he had suffered from had finally loosened its hold on him. He wasn't anywhere near back of full strength, but he was recovering.

That afternoon, Rosemarie had attempted to talk to him again, but Norway refused to answer her questions. He continued to insist that he had not hurt himself, but he would not say who had. After that unsuccessful attempt, Rosemarie made up her mind to try a different approach the next time she spoke to Norway.

Later that afternoon, the other Nordics came to see Norway, but they did not stay very long. They were relieved to see how well Norway seemed to be recovering, but worried that it would not last. After all, they had thought he was getting better before. That was the reason they had taken him to the meeting.

---

The next day, Rosemarie took Birger with her when she went to talk to Norway. They were determined to figure out what was going on before Norway's condition got any worse.

This time it was the government official who took the lead in the questioning. Rosemarie was there more as a precaution than for any other reason.

"Are you willing to tell us how you got hurt, yet?" Birger asked. "We're going to have to keep questioning you until we get an answer, Haldor. You're too important. We don't want to take any more chances with you."

For several minutes, Norway did not reply. He would not even look in their direction at first. When he at last turned to face them, his face wore its usual expression, or rather, lack of expression. The shadows around his eyes were less pronounced. It took him so long to reply that they began to think he wasn't going to answer. At last, he said, "I can't tell you. And even if I could, you wouldn't believe me."

"Haldor, if someone is hurting you, then you need to tell us. We can make sure you're protected, but in order to do that, we need to know what happened."

Norway turned away from them again, and did not reply.

Birger was determined not to let this go. To his point of view, his country was in some unknown danger. And yet, without finding out the culprit, there was nothing they could do. He had some suspicions about who might be responsible, but couldn't act on them without proof. "Why won't you tell us?"

"I can't," Norway replied, still not looking at them. "And you can't stop him, anyway. So please stop asking about it."

"We also can't stand by and watch you be hurt. If it is another one of your kind that is hurting you, we can at least take steps to limit your contact with them. Has someone from your family been hurting you?"

". . . No."

"Have they hurt you before?" He thought he knew enough history to know what the answer to that would be. That was part of his reason for asking that. He wanted to see whether or not Norway would give a truthful answer to that question.

Once again, a long time passed before Norway replied. But in the end, he gave the answer Birger had been expecting. "Yes. A long time ago." Which was basically true, unless they counted the issue of how the German soldiers had gotten into the country during World War II. The second World War could not yet be considered a long time ago, as there were people still alive who remembered it.

"Did your family have anything to do with why you disappeared last summer?"

Norway still would not look at them. Although he answered the questions he was asked, most of his attention seemed to be focused on something on the other side of the room. When Birger looked, he saw nothing there. Looking at Rosemarie, he saw that she had noticed that as well.

"Haldor?" Birger asked, once he decided it was taking too long for Norway to reply.

Norway looked towards them again, finally. "I really can't tell you what happened."

"We need to make sure that you're safe, Haldor. If necessary, we can forbid your family to see you. We will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe."

"They didn't hurt me."

Birger looked closely at Norway, trying to determine whether that statement was really the truth. However, he could get no indication one way or the other from Norway's expression. And if there was something hidden behind Norway's usual lack of expression, Birger did not know how to see it.

Not having discovering anything, Birger found his attention drawn to Norway's injured wrist. The injury was real, and noticeable, as the splint had been placed over the injury again after the surgery. That injury had to have occurred somehow, which meant that Norway had either done that himself or been hurt by one of the members of his family. However, Norway had denied both of those explanations. So what other explanation was left?

It seemed that the only explanation left was that Norway was lying to them. But, if that was the case, then what was the truth?

Norway had turned his attention back to whatever it was he saw on the other side of the room. Birger could tell that they wouldn't get any answers from Norway, but he was determined not to let the matter rest. After all, someone had hurt his country.

---

It wasn't that Norway didn't want to answer the questions everyone kept asking him. But he didn't think they'd believe him. After all, it wasn't like they even knew Scandia existed. And even if they did, he couldn't let his people know how weak he had been. It was bad enough that they knew as much as they did.

The worst part, though, was having his family know what Scandia had done to him. They never said it, but he knew they were always thinking about it. The revelation had changed the way they saw him.

He had especially never wanted Iceland to know the truth. After all, Iceland was barely willing to admit they were brothers, so Norway had known what would happen if the younger nation ever learned their true relationship. At first, he had allowed himself to hope everything would be okay, but he had not missed the way Iceland had avoided him since the incident in the hotel room. His child, and the only good thing to have come out of Scandia's abuse, couldn't stand to be in the same room as him.

Then, there was the fact that ever since his secret had been revealed, Norway had not been able to get rid of the sense that Denmark and Sweden were just waiting for the chance to take control of him again. It had taken him so long to get free of their rule, and now that they knew how weak he was, they had an excuse to try and take over again. There were times he did feel safer because of their presence, but so many other times, he felt like he was just waiting for the inevitable moment when they would take advantage of his weakness.

There had been times in the last couple weeks when he had wished he had never come back. At least when he had been alone in the cabin, he hadn't had to face people who knew the truth about him. And he wasn't even sure how many people knew the truth. He didn't know if his family had told anyone. And, he didn't know what anyone else who had been at the world meeting might be saying about the panic attack he'd had in the middle of the meeting. The situation was bad enough without letting the whole world see how weak he was.

And everyone kept trying to get him to talk about what had happened. And he couldn't. Writing about it in the letter had been difficult enough. Norway didn't think he was ready to talk to anyone about what Scandia had done to him. And he definitely couldn't talk to someone from his government about it. Sometimes, he considered talking to his family, but he always came back to the fact that he wasn't sure if he could trust them.

His mind kept going over that dilemma, until at last he drifted into an uneasy sleep. Even in sleep, he was not freed from the situation. Instead, his sleep was filled with dreams of something menacing lurking just outside the edge of his awareness.

When Norway awoke several hours later, he felt almost as if he hadn't slept at all. If anything, he was more tired than he had been before falling asleep, and the pain in his wrist was worse as well. And the uneasiness he had felt in the dream had not lessened. He still felt as if there was some presence just at the edge of his awareness.

It was only a short time after he woke up that his family arrived for their daily visit.

Like the last two times they had visited him, they all arrived together. As was becoming increasingly common, Iceland stayed back near the door. Also as usual, Denmark was the only one to come all the way over to the bed, regardless of whether or not Norway wanted him that close. Which at that moment, he didn't. As uneasy as he felt right now, Norway didn't want anyone that close.

"You look tired, Nor," Denmark said. "You're not getting sick again, are you?" He reached out and felt Norway's forehead, probably to check for a fever.

Norway tensed involuntarily at the touch. He really didn't want to be touched right now. "Don't touch me."

Denmark kept his hand on Norway's forehead. "I'm not going to hurt you, Nor."

Norway was unable to get away from the unwelcome touch. He was starting to feel trapped, due to the way Denmark was leaning over him. Even though Denmark was only touching his forehead, Norway still felt like he was being held down on the bed. He could feel hands on his shoulders, pressing him against the bed. And he knew what came after that.

He tried to tell himself that he was only imagining the hands holding him down. Only his forehead was being touched. But he could still feel the hands on his shoulders, and the weight pressing down on him. It was starting to get hard for him to breathe.

Norway began to struggle to escape, but the feeling would not lessen. He though he heard someone telling him to calm down, but the voice seemed to come from a long way off. He couldn't calm down; not as long as he still felt trapped the way he did at that moment.

Then there was someone brushing the hair off his forehead. That made him even more uncomfortable, and he increased his efforts to escape. After several moments of struggling against whatever was holding him down on the bed, he quickly turned his head to the side, trying to at least dislodge the hand on his forehead.

The last thing he was clearly aware of was a hand brushing against his curl.

---

Names: I had a lot of trouble chosen a name for the government worker, which is why he went unnamed for a few chapters. The reason I chose the name I did for him, is because according to the website I'm getting the names from, Birger means "to help, to save, to protect." I thought that fit the role he seems to think he has in this story. I didn't really have a good reason for choosing Rosemarie's name; it was just the name that I picked from the list.

Misc. notes: I hope to have the next chapter before too long, but I'm not going to make any promises. I will be clarifying some of what was happening at the end of this chapter at the beginning of the next chapter. And yes, I did end up going along with the theory that some people have about all the haircurls being erogenous zones. Also, in reference to something that was mentioned during the conference scene. I looked up Norway's mental health act (or whatever it was called), and at least skimmed the whole thing. I especially read the part about involuntary commitment, and in a novel I looked at, I saw that section referred to as Paragraph Five. So, hopefully that was the right term to use for it. But that's what they meant by Paragraph 5: involuntary committment, because the person is a danger to themselves or others.